Run Away

You know that game ‘2 truths and a lie’, where someone says 3 statements about themselves, and people have to guess which one is a lie?  I usually beat most people with mine. Have a go and see if you can get the lie…

1. I used to live on a train.
2. I have 9 cats.
3. I used to be a circus acrobat.

Any guesses?

Most people go for the 9 cats because although it’s a bit bonkers, it’s less bonkers than the other two – which are in fact true.

I don’t really think about being in the circus much these days, but this morning during our post diagnostic workshops, we were talking about employment as a neurodivergent person.  As I told people I used to be a circus acrobat and lived on a train for 2 years, I could see them getting wide eyed and saying ‘oohhh’, and I was reminded again what a non ‘normal’ thing it was to do – not in a bad way, more in a ‘Yea that was pretty crazy’ type way.

I was 17 at the time, having done absolutely crap in my GCSE’s, I was at 6^th form college, mostly doing performing arts and hiding in the canteen when I should have been in an English language class. I loved performing arts; you got to literally wear the mask of a character all the time. I had no idea what I wanted to do.  Acting is prominent in our family, but I was too scared to try it and fail, plus I wanted something that was a good fit for my skill set – which was limited.  That said, I also loved gymnastics as a child and at the end of my first year of 6^th form, an opportunity came up to audition for the role of an acrobat: performing and gymnastics – perfect for me.

I travelled to Chessington world of Adventures with my dad to meet Luisito, the man who would be my partner in the act.  I remember so vividly sitting in his caravan, the interior was brown and floral with swirly patterns. He chatted away to us in his unique, thick, ‘Irish with a hint of Spanish’ accent. He started playing us a video of him and a woman on roller skates spinning in circles on a pedestal 13ft in the air.  I watched as the woman was flung out in various ways, at one point turning her body inside out and upside down. The finale trick was of them both putting straps round their necks and her spinning by her neck – attached to his neck – orbiting the man as he too spun round on the pedestal.

I watched in disbelief, as did my dad.

When the video finished, Luisito turned to me and said ‘So, do you think you can do that?’ and before I could formulate how I was going to let this guy down and say ‘Absolutely not, are you insane?’ then run to the car so we could go home as fast as possible, my mouth had confidently said ‘Yep, I can do that’

After I had processed what a ridiculous thing I had just agreed to, I then realised I would need to leave college.  Upon returning I told my performing arts teacher that I would be leaving and why.  She told me it was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard, then corrected herself to say it was the second most stupid thing, I was second place to a girl who left to become a page 3 girl…

The weeks that followed I stayed in Chessington during the week (free access to the theme park) and came home at weekends.  Once I’d learnt the act we did some galas in France – I still don’t really know what they were, but they were things like entertainment at business functions and events.  During that time the pedestal was low down – around 4 foot off the ground.  After this we did a festival in Paris and then got a 6-month contract with Cirkus Merano in Norway.  That was hard work, but so much fun.  We moved mostly every day and travelled in convoy on the road with most people staying in caravans or lorries. 

Upon arrival at a new place there was a huge amount of work to do, once the tent was up, everyone had to sort out their props, rigging and gear.  Bigger places such as Bergen and Trondheim, we stayed for a week and in Oslo for 1 month.  Up at the top of Norway near the land of the midnight sun was interesting.  Coming home at 3am from a night out after the show in broad daylight was wild.  People were hanging towels from their windows to help them sleep.

While we were on Cirkus Merano, the talent scouts for Ringling Bros, Barnum and Bailey saw our act and offered us a 2-year contract in America, which we accepted.

That was the start of an amazing adventure, which I could probably write a book on.  I have so many stories from that time; Being an ‘ornament’ at a showbiz party where the cast of ‘Friends’ and Woody Allen were, meeting Christopher Reeves. A fun one was waking up late and trying to make it to Madison square garden before the show started, I ran in bare feet through the streets of New York and arrived at the building where my 2 Hungarian friends helped me get dressed in record time, drew some eyebrows on me, I then hopped on my elephant to smile and wave at everyone for the opening procession. I still sometimes wake up in a cold sweat with the opening music playing in my head.

I didn’t know I was neurodivergent then.  It was the 90’s and ADHD was little boys charging round the classroom.  Autistic people were like Rain man. They weren’t 17-year-old female circus acrobats.  Sometimes I think back to that time and ask myself why I was so drawn there.

When you don’t fit into an education system, you need something that sparks your curiosity and stimulates your interest based nervous system.

I loved the sensory aspects of the shows – they were beautiful, sparkly, magical and musical and I never got bored of them. I also loved the balance of the strict routine of the shows, e.g. what time to start my make-up, what time to eat, what time to get dressed, what time to warm up, contrasting with the novelty and dopamine you get from new places and experiences.

It was amazing to watch America fly by during train runs, there was the most breath taking views. I loved when we went through a railroad crossing and the whole town would come out to wave at the circus train.

I was also masking for a living – which may not have been a great thing, but I could shine comfortably wearing a huge feather head dress and a pair of wings.

It wasn’t conventional, it wasn’t ‘normal’ but at that time in my life it was perfect for me, and I wouldn’t change that time for anything.